damn!! i accidentally deleted what i wrote just now!!! argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well... tomorow mahathir's coming over to be cause there's a formal ceremony held to proclaim him as our university's chancellor... all club presidents and student rep. council members are invited or rather instructed to attend this event.. we have to dress formally, tie, bladers, leather shoes.... damn damn damn... those are still okay, problem is my hair's dyed.... and i'll be the one and only person in the hall tomorrow with coloured hair cause other leaders are usually mature and steady ppl... unwanted attention.. just hope the security guards wont chase me out for improper dresscode..

kinda slacking as usual... havent attended a class for duno how long... din do homework, din pass up assignments, din attend vivas, din do quizzes.. damn what the heck am i?? sometimes i really wonder.. luckily my grades are still above the warning level...

having band practice tonight cause there'll be a battle of the bands competition soon... kinda lazy to go though...

yeah, i've got a new usericon.. picture taken when i was in cameron few weeks ago... nice camp :D i'm the taller one, the other guy's a friend of mine... close friend i guess though some things are happening these days..... sighh..

and i just got back from another camp last sunday, a leadership camp, for club presidents etc. it was fantastic!! wahahhaah, got lotsa new info... ideas... but the most important thing is... it was a feast!! wahhahah... seriouslyy, they provided a banquet!! the food was nicely placed in a few tables... think bout 7 dinner tables, 3 for the main dishes, 2 for salads, 2 for desserts.... they served so much that there were plenty of leftovers... dinners for officials are really a waste, but if you were invited, you'll have the time of your life.. hahah

k, see ya world

hello world!! yeah, i finally got back from KL, it has been like.. 8 days! stayed at my friend's house and lotsa things happened.. met lotsa new friends and got quite a lot of new experience i guess.. one of the best thing that happened was i actually slept in a squatter's area the first night, its my friend's friend's house, 9 malays staying in that small house, you can hardly move. there are no locks on the door and they are freaking poor, BUT they own a 30+ inch tv and bikes that are absurdly expensive.. its strange how malays spend money..

lotsa other things happened.. but.. hmm.. i think i'll have to write it next time.. maybe tonite.. and yeah... i might be going back to kl this week to work! why? cause i lost 300 bucks in a Casino, why? because i wanted to lose!! i still duno why i gave up all that money.. i actually din think bout anything and just bet on some stupid stuff.. so we'll see what's going to happen later

300 buckss... 300 bucksss... how i wish i could be more hard working and finish my business plan, send it up to maybank head office, do the freaking presentation and then get an agreement.. then i'll be filthy rich and can go clubbing anytime i please!! hahahahahahahahahahahhaa :D

can't sleep, just got back from the movies a few hours ago, my friend asked this girl and her sister out for a movie and invited me... she was WeeGhee, my so called dance partner for christmas eve :D she's a really decent girl, young, pretty and decent. She got drunk by just 2 glasses or Chivas and a bottle of beer. Later only did i know that it was her first few times clubbing, no wonder she couldn't dance well. haha :D anyway we watched Peter Pan. The show sucks.. maybe because i'm a young adult :D I have no idea who suggested Peter Pan but i think everyone actually enjoyed the movie except me :D the cinema was also filled with lil kids, yeah, a whole bunch of 'em, it kinda spoilt the atmosphere

anyway, i can't sleep and don't know what to do, so i decided to write some plans for the few days ahead.

26th dec : will be going to meet my roommate for some discussions.. not bout the room, we were supposed to be doing some business thingy.. prefer 27th but he said he wanted to leave KL soon

27th dec : this may be a boring day.. come to think of it, i'm kinda worried, staying at my brother's place in Kelana Jaya, I might be going to find an old friend, Vincent which i haven't seen for 2 years, other than that i've no idea what i'm going to do for the rest of the day. maybe i'll be going shopping at Sunway Pyramid since my mum wants me to buy some clothing for my brother. She said that i'm better at these things.. lucky him he has an older brother to buy him new clothes, when i was his age, all i got was my older brother's clothes which were all XL. I'm tall and thin, wearing these shirts actually made me look like those hangers english men use to hang their coat maybe i'll buy some books as well.. i lost my bag when i was coming home from uni

28th dec: finally, i'll be meeting my friends, going clubbing this nite. i think the whole bunch of them will be doing lotsa crazy stuff.. we frequently become the center of unwanted attention, lotsa stories.. maybe i'll tell them later. hope nobody gets into trouble.

29th dec: its esther - my friend's girlfriend's birthday and her friends are coming along, celebrating at Genting Highlands resort, they're buying 4 or 5 bottles of wine for this occasion.

30th dec: rest, we need to sleep..

31st dec: clubbing again... i'm going to be broke
drinking excessively 6 times within 3 weeks, hope my organs won't be burnt by alcohol.

yeah, i'm finally feeling drowsy, time for bed... good nite everyone~!!

yay, finally got my hair done.. i wanted it to be blonde, but ended out brown i think... looks okay i guess

sigh.. i'm bored.. going clubbing tonite.. but it won't be nice i guess.. waiting for 26th, going kl again... i hate waiting..

just got home.. went out to meet more old friends that i've lost contact with for at least 2 years.. wahahah, it was nice.. as usual, everyone's crapping away, maybe cause i've not spoken cantonese for too long, i couldn't really catch up with them. time to improve back abit.

got my ears pierced again.. same two holes, the girl wasn't gentle or careful enough, hope she pierced correctly.

having headache now, i finished half a pack of cigarettes in 1 hour, can't really take it cause i've stopped smoking for a month now.. can't smoke at home... parents around...

gtg.. merry christmass~~!

- - - - -
BASICS
- - - - -

(12) Your gender: Male
(13) Straight/gay/bi? Straight
(14) Single? Yup
(15) Want to be? let it be
(16) Your birthdate: 4th sept, 1983
(17) Your age: 20
(18) Age you act: 18~25 depends on who i'm with i guess.. i normally chat with adults and not teens during all those dinner occasions
(19) Age you wish you were: i'm growing old.... growing old=more responsibilities... sigh..
(20) Your height: 6'1"
(21) The color of your eyes: Black
(22) Happy with it? yeah
(23) The color of your hair: Black
(24) Happy with it? not really, i've always wanted to change it but i'm just too bad in hairstyling, dying soon
(25) Left/right/ambidextrous? Right.
(26) Your living arrangement? With my roommate and a bunch of crazy housemates in a hostel apartment
(27) Your family: mom dad 2bros 1 sis
(28) Have any pets? had a few, all died, gave or ran away
(29) What's your job: Learning, trying to learn everything
(30) Piercings? Yeah, two on the left, think its closed again.. had to take it off for business purposes.. aarghh
(31) Tattoos? nope
(32) Obsessions? maybe friends? LoL
(33) Addictions? erm...
(35) Do you speak another language? malay- ler.. dah lame tak cakap, takut kang lupe kang, mandarin, cantonese, hokkien, hakka,
(36) Have a favourite quote?
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher." (Ambrose Bierce)

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost.
(J.R.R Tolkien)

- - - - -
DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
- - - - -

(38) Do you live in the moment? i'm always thinking ahead i guess..
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? to some extent
(40) Do you have any secrets? yes but i'll make it like i don't
(41) Do you hate yourself? nope..
(42) Do you like your handwriting? primary school - got transferred to a different table where teachers can monitor me more because my handwriting was too bad, secondary - my friend labelled it as SPY language because no one could read it
(43) Do you have any bad habits? yeah, procastination
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people? don't really care what others think as long as i know i'm on track.. well unless its someone i like
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? I hope it'd be called enfant terrible
(46) What's your biggest fear? emptiness, vanity, knowing what i know is right,
(47) Can you sing? nope
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? i like what i am
(49) Are you a loner? sometimes
(50) What are your no. 1 priorities in life? God (sigh....), living for a cause, living to make an impact
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yeah
(52) Are you a daredevil? more of a darePIG, did lotsa stupid stuff
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? dislike yes, hate no
(54) Are you passive or aggressive? depends on the situation
(55) Have you got a journal? is this one?
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness? able to mix wif almost anyone i want (guys). arrogance, superiority
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? more disciplined, self control
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity: love- so i know how to love others more. creativity - everything's possible wif it, i just can't get enough of it
(59) How do you vent? play, sleep, music, talk
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong? no, my EQ's quite low, i'm stupid
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? yeah
(62) Do you think life has been good so far? it's okay i guess
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? no one has control over his future, the race is not to the swift,
(64) What do you like the most about your body? height i guess.. thats the only thing i have
(65) And least? too thin, underweight
(66) Do you think you are good looking? no
(67) Are you confident? yes, in everything except love and girls
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like? hard to say, i wanna be lex luthor, cant think of anyone i'm like
(70) Are you perceived wrongly? No, but i like to play with words

- - - - -
DO YOU...
- - - - -

(71) Smoke? occasionally
(72) Do drugs? no
(73) Read the newspaper? yup, almost everyday
(74) Pray? i once did
(75) Go to church? occasionally
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you? its ok i guess..
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals? no
(78) Take walks in the rain? if i have to
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them? yeah, but they won't know it
(80) Drive? yeah
(81) Like to drive fast? only when i'm alone

- - - - -
WOULD OR HAVE YOU EVER...
- - - - -

(82) Liked your voice? nope, but i dun have it
(83) Hurt yourself? no
(84) Been out of the country? yeah, the states when i was small
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick? i'm the one who's always getting digestion problems
(88) Been in love? Yeah
(89) Done drugs? No
(90) Gone skinny dipping? no
(91) Had a medical emergency? no
(92) Had a surgery? when i was a few months old
(93) Ran away from home? no
(94) Played strip poker? no
(95) Gotten beaten up? no
(96) Beaten someone up? almost
(97)Been picked on? i'm ok with everyone
(98) Been on stage? quite alot i guess.. for different purposes
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath? no
(100) Slept outdoors? yeah
(101) Thought about suicide? no
(102) Pulled an all-nighter? wats that?
(103) If yes, what is your record? huh?
(104) Gone one day without food? i'll die
(105) Talked on the phone all night? few hours yes, all night no
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex first(moms and daddys don't count)? no, i don't sleep with the opposite sex, hope it doesn't change during the following few weeks
(107) Slept all day? Yeah
(108) Killed someone? no, but i hope i haven't indirectly killed anyone
(109) Made out with a stranger? go away, my dick's not for you
(110) Had sex with a stranger? go away, my dick's not for you
(111) Thought you're going crazy? yeah
(112) Kissed the same sex? Like...french? oh shit.. once during Truth or Dare, not french though
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex? no
(114) Been betrayed? yeah
(115) Had a dream that came true? not one that matters
(116) Broken the law? i don't remember how many times
(117) Met a famous person? yeah, but it doesn't matter
(120) Have you ever killed an animal by accident? insect yes, animal no
(121) On purpose? no
(145) Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? sigh.
(146) Stolen anything? sigh.
(147) Been on radio/tv? nope
(148) Been in a mosh-pit? wats that?
(149) Had a nervous breakdown? no
(150) Considered religious vocation???? huh? those religious camps yes, vocation? wats that?
(152) Bungee jumped? no
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back? yeah

- - - - -
CLOTHES
- - - - -


(154) Shoe brand? as long as it looks nice, doesn't matter
(155) Brand of clothing? as long as it looks nice, doesn't matter
(156) Cologne/perfume? not using
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work? jeans, t-shirt
(158) How about parties? shirt
(159) Wear hats? no
(160) Judge other people by their clothing? no
(161) Wear make-up? no
(162) Favourite place to shop? none
(163) Favourite article of clothing? none
(164) Are you trendy? no?
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school? no

- - - - -
BELIEFS
- - - - -


(166) Believe in life on other planets? no
(167) Miracles? Yeah
(168) Astrology? yeah, i think planets may actually effect us in some sorta way.. e.g: full moon causes some animals to mate
(169) Magic? what do you mean?
(170) God? he's just beside me
(171) Satan? he's just beside me
(172) Santa? no
(173) Ghosts? just beside me
(174) Luck? no.. god controls all
(175) Love at first sight? no
(176) Yin and Yang (that good can't exist without the bad)? yeah
(177) Witches? yeah, my grandpa performed blackmagic for a living
(178) Easter bunny? no
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? yeah
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? haha
(181) Do you wish on stars? no

- - - - -
DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS
- - - - -

(182) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?i know both exists, but duno how it looks like
(183) Do you think God has a gender? no
(184) Do you think that science counteracts religion? no, they're coherent
(185) Do you believe in organized religion? huh?
(186) Where do you think we go when we die? heaven or hell

- - - - -
AMIGOS
- - - - -

(187) Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? yeah, a few
(188) Who is your best friend? it wouldn't be nice to label friends that way, i have a few very close ones
(189) Who's the one person that knows most about you? hard to say, dun think anyone knows, i wish someone did though
(190) What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you? don't care about what others think- got to know this indonesian guy in his 30s in a game of pool, businessmen are really cool!
(191) Your favourite inside joke? huh? you get immune to them when you cock too much, everyone will be laughing except you
(192) Thing you're picked on most about? cause i'm slow in everything.. haha well.. i'm only physically slow ok?
(193) Who's your longest known friend? jia zhang, chang cheng, did sing, since primary one
(194) Newest? err..? i'm not sure
(195) Shyest? duno why all the guys in my uni are so shy, except the ones i club with
(196) Funniest? everyone's funny in their own way
(197) Sweetest? never noticed
(198) Closest? dun wanna label who's the closest
(199) Weirdest? me?
(200) Smartest? erm.. it wouldn't be nice to say
(201) Ditziest? huh?
(202) Friends you miss being close to the most? lots
(203) Last person you talked to online? kar yew
(204) Who do you talk to most online? depends
(205) Who are you on the phone with most? trying to forget that
(206) Who do you trust most? i dunno, maybe strangers
(207) Who listens to your problems? people who i can trust
(208) Who do you fight most with? never fought with anyone yet
(209) Who's the nicest? everyone nice to some extent
(210) Who's the most outgoing? how do you label that.. those i lepak with i guess
(211) Who's the best singer? stupid twins
(212) Who's on your shit-list? hoho, wouldn't be nice to have such a list
(213) Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend? oh shit, no
(214) Who's your second family? all my friends
(215) Do you always feel understood? depends on whether i want anyone to
(216) Who's the loudest friend? gary, you can hear him laughing even though he's a few storeys above, pei yen - even though she's like 500M away
(217) Do you trust others easily? not anymore, .. cept girls
(218) this: mary had a little lamb, i like to act stupid, it feels nice, you get to observe how others really are, and they won't even notice you
(219) Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: i want my dog back
(220) Do your friends know you? to some extent
(221) Friend that lives farthest away: lots are overseas now
- - - - -
LOVE, and all that
- - - - -

(222) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title? something i wouldn't really like to discuss
(225) Do you consider love a mistake? no
(226) What do you find romantic? lots
(227) Turn-on? girls who are outgoing, cool and all that but becomes shy when i talk to them
(228) Turn-off? bad manners
(229) First kiss? er.. hehhe
(231) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? sad
(232) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"? knowing them first
(233) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? wats the prob? its ok if the guy likes you
(235) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? yeah
(236) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? er.. no?
(237) What is best about the opposite sex? their scent.. haha attitude, personality, i love it
(238) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? sometimes they giggle too much when their gang's around.. haha
(245) Do you read porn? sigh
(246) Read the articles? huh?
(247) Just the pics? sigh
(248) What's the last present someone gave you? i duno
(257) Are you in love? now? er... i don't think so, i hope not
(258) Do you consider your significant other hot? i'm single and very much available :D
(264) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk? approach maybe
- - - - -
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
- - - - -

(279) That haunted you? some net frens
(280) You wanted to kill? i'm an angel
(281) That you laughed at? too many, cant remember, maybe lainie.. she's adorably silly haha :D
(282) That laughed at you? can't remember
(283) That turned you on? woww.. what a question
(284) You went shopping with? larry
(285) That broke your heart? sigh.
(286) To disappoint you? sigh.
(287) To ask you out? a long lost friend
(288) To make you cry? THAT girl, i'm so weak when it comes to girls
(289) To brighten up your day? cant remember
(290) That you thought about? better forget that
(291) You saw a movie with? justyn
(292) You talked to on the phone? my roommate
(293) You talked to through IM/ICQ? kar yew
(294) You saw? dad
(295) You lost? my dog

- - - - -
RIGHT THIS MOMENT...
- - - - -

(337) Are you going out? i should have.. friend's leavin ipoh soon
(338) Will it be with your significant other? nope
(339) Or some random person? huh?
(340) What are you wearing right now? t-shirt, shorts
(341) Body-part you're touching right now: i'm typing
(342) What are you worried about right now? nothing, looking forward to new year's though :D
(343) What book are you reading? should be the bible
(344) What's on your mousepad? dun have one
(345) Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: happy, bored, contented, expecting, psychopathic
(346) Are you bored? a bit
(347) Are you tired? i can't sleep when i should and i can't sleep when i shouldn't
(348) Are you talking to anyone online? i'm offline
(349) Are you talking to anyone on the phone? no
(350) Are you lonely or content? content and somewhat lonely?
(351) Are you listening to music? yeah

DESCRIBE YOUR..
[ x ] Wallet – a place to put money and some cards
[ x ] Hairbrush – where izzit? using my hands nowadays, effect's better.. haha
[ x ] Toothbrush – a normal one
[ x ] Jewelry worn daily – none
[ x ] Pillow cover – doesn't matter
[ x ] Blanket – doesn't matter
[ x ] Coffee cup – doesn't matter
[ x ] Sunglasses – i wanna buy shades
[ x ] Underwear – haha
[ x ] Favorite shirt – i duno which one
[ x ] Cologne/Perfume – not using any
[ x ] CD in stereo right now – mp3s only, michelle branch, not tat i really like it
[ x ] Tattoos – none
[ x ] Piercings – ears, i have to pierce again.. its closed
[ x ] What you are wearing now - i answered this
[ x ] In my mouth – my tongue
[ x ] In my head - brains
[ x ] Wishing – i had more time to meet friends
[ x ] After this – logging on, sleeping
[ x ] Fetishes- huh?
[ x ] If you could get away with it and murder anyone,who and for what reason?-- previous writer wrote britney spears! haha none for me.
[ x ] Person you wish you could see right now - someone, maybe even my dog
[ x ] Is next to you right now – i duno
[ x ] Some of your favorite movies – bicentennial man, patch adams, matrix I, LOTR 1 and 2, Harry Potter 1, Serendipity
[ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month – new years
[ x ] The last thing you ate: noodles
[ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of – sin? temptations?
[ x ] Do you like candles – no, maybe when the time comes.
[ x ] Do you like incense – no, maybe when the time comes.
[ x ] Do you believe in love – yes
[ x ] Do you believe in soul mates – not very sure, maybe soul mates are created through effort
[ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight – no
[ x ] Do you believe in Heaven - Yeah
[ x ] Do you believe in God – Yeah
[ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die-donate my organs, do whatever you want
[ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be - i want my dog back or maybe a cub?
[ x ] What is the latest you've ever stayed up – i'm always up till 7am
[ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks – yes
[ x ] What's your favorite coin – i prefer a note
[ x ] What's something that you wish people would understand – me, but only those ppl i open up to
[ x ] What's something you wish you could understand better – the world, economy, and how it operates, how ppl think, how to gain control over the world ( for a good cause )
[ x ] Who is someone that you really wish was still around – My dog, and someone.

hmm.. i'm trying to compile a new audio CD, bringing it to KL this coming saturday, gonna listen to it when we lepak at a friend's house.. obviously there won't only be guys was thinking bout this song... what will happen if i really put this song eh?? the lyrics is actually quite saddening.. hope the whole atmosphere won't become gloomy because of this :D

The Freshman
Written By Brian Vander Ark

When I was young I knew everything
and she a punk who rarely ever took advice
now i'm guilt stricken, sobbing with my head on the floor
stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice

I can't be held responsible
cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
she fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
for the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
we were merely freshmen

My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her
his girl took a week's worth of valium and slept
now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his head on the floor
thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says

We've tried to wash our hands of all of this
we never talk of our lacking relationships
and how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the floor
we fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say